The 6-month anniversary seems particularly poignant, as we have reached our initial fundraising target. While it could have been yesterday it clearly isn’t, most of the time I do feel a little stronger and we have achieved so much. While I have realised I am far more private than Richard and can even be good at shutting people out I have become very aware of how wonderful our friends are. Those friends who are always there when we need them, sometime to cry on or rant about the injustice of it all or sometimes to show us that it’s possible to still enjoy ourselves and embrace life when you don’t think you can.
I still wonder at times how I can get up each day and sometimes feel completely overwhelmed by the most trivial things or smallest tasks but some how I manage and life carries on. The effects are great with worries about the impact on our son Finlay, managing our emotions, considering if we can ever find peace and happiness again and developing new norms within our life.
Surprisingly while I would still trade it all to be holding Emily in our arms, it’s not all bad. We have been touched by the support we have received and continue to receive from those around us as well as strangers (who in some cases have now become friends). I have done things and achieved things I never thought I would. I guess our real challenge is how we look forward and focus on all the wonderful things in our lives and don’t spend our life wishing Emily was here with us.
As life does go fast we owe it to Emily to live it and enjoy it. We had happiness before we had Emily and have to believe we will be happy in the future.