As those of you that follow us on facebook will know, we have just got back from a family holiday; it was amazing to have some family fun away from all the pressures of home. That time to enjoy and celebrate what we have rather than mourning what we have lost is priceless and I can't wait for the next school holiday to spend more quality time together as a family.
I must admit, I have felt moments of guilt for enjoying myself for the first time since we lost Emily, equally I felt like I was letting her down by not taking an active part in Forever Stars over the last couple of weeks, even though I knew everything was fine under the watchful eye of Jayne.
Whilst we were away, there have been some great activities taking place on behalf of Forever Stars, firstly Michael Blades taking part in the Derby 10K (dressed in the Forest shirt!), Premier Electrics and Martyn Oliver kindly raised money via their sponsorship of the Forest v Sheffield Wednesday game plus we've had cash from New College Nottingham via collections in the construction dept, RISE Nottingham in Clifton and from the Madhatters Vintage Craft Fair - thank you to all of you!
Coming back after the holiday has in someways been a fresh start, 'moving on' is a horrible phrase and one that I choose not to use but what we are doing is finding a new 'normal'; one that includes Emily but isn't over shadowed by her. She will always be my little girl but I now need to tackle getting back into the swing of being Finlay's Dad and Michelle's husband; life wasn't a bad place before we lost Emily and whilst what we have suffered I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, our life still isn't that bad now.
Emily's nursery has long been a conversation held by friends and family; when is the right time to remove all traces of what might have been? At what point do you acknowledge that an empty cot is never going to be filled by the little girl it was intended for? I've never seen Emily's nursery as a shrine to her, it has always been more a place of comfort and somewhere all of us can take time out but at the moment, it feels right that we need to find another use for the room, a use that stops the room being 'Emily's room' but is still remains a family space, after all it is just a room...