Today, Michelle had time out with one of our new friends Jane Hutchby, she was the midwife that supported us throughout the pregnancy of Emily and also after a 12 hour day, came back to the hospital to help deliver Emily; she is an amazing women and has been a real rock. Without us even realising, Emily is buried very close to where Jane lives, so Emily is still being looked over by Jane even today - which believe it or not, gives us a great deal of comfort.
Tomorrow we catch up with Mandy Dann, the bereavement midwife who has supported us so well. We've only known her 10 weeks, yet she has become an important part of the grieving process, we're very lucky to have her in Nottingham.
One of my biggest tests is yet to come this week, whilst I'm not a dental professional, I do work in dentistry and this Friday and Saturday I am at one of the largest dental shows at the NEC, lots of people who know me and the situation will be there, equally hard there will be lots of people there who know I was excited to be a Dad for a second time, who wont know what has happened, reliving the memory to help Forever Stars is one thing, talking about it over and over again in a work environment is quite another!
It will be 10 weeks tomorrow since my little girl came into my life and broke my heart at the very same time, even though I write about her and the events that are happening at regular intervals, I still struggle to try and write in such a way that can describe what it feels like to have ultimate joy smashed to pieces and replaced with darkest despair within seconds of each other.
The stillbirth of a child is a life sentence, the only choice you have to make is do you lock yourself up or handle your term in an open prison.