We lost our baby boy, Miles, at 37 weeks, just 6 days before our planned C-section.

I had been feeling a bit under the weather and had questioned if I had been experiencing reduced movements, but as it was my second pregnancy, I thought I was being irrational, that everything was ok and waited until the next day when I had my last scan section booked. When the sonographers in antenatal did the scan, there was a deafening silence, where there was normally a heartbeat racing away; there was nothing, just a deafening silence.

There and then, our world fell apart. Our baby was gone. To say we were heartbroken was an understatement. The pain was devastating. Jon and I quickly called our loved ones, we needed our parents to be there with us and help us through the unthinkable. The steps that followed that day are clear as anything in my mind, but too difficult to put into words. After a discussion with the doctors, it was decided that I could give birth via C-section. We were walked ‘the back way’ to the labour suite where I was prepared for theatre. It turned out I had an infection and would need to have a general anaesthetic. I wouldn’t be present for my baby’s birth, and Jon couldn’t come with me. I was alone. And our baby was gone.

What I recall on my return from theatre was some amazing care from some amazing midwives, especially Kathrine Aspell. However, the facilities I had to recover and cope with this loss in were not ideal. I had to spend my time grieving in the labour suite at QMC with the sound of babies crying, women labouring and happy families surrounding me. It was a horrible experience and something no family who has lost a baby should experience.

When we returned home and were planning Miles’ funeral, we read about Forever Stars and knew the work they were doing was so important for anyone else who suffers the loss of their baby. So, we decided that we would ask for any donations from the funeral to go to them. The facility for bereaved parents and families to come to terms with their loss needs improving. After reaching out to Richard and Michelle at the most difficult of times, Jon and I have been on hand to support with events, admin and anything else we can ever since.