Resources for Parents

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Support from our Corporate Partner A W Lymn

We're sorry for the circumstances that have prompted you to visit this website page and trust that we can help you at this sad and difficult time. It is important for you to make choices and decisions that best reflect your needs and means.

Our family business A. W. Lymn The Family Funeral Service was founded in 1907 by my maternal grandfather and great-grandfather to serve the bereaved in Nottingham city. We now operate out of 26 funeral homes in Nottinghamshire and South Derbyshire and, despite our growth, we remain very much a family business with eight family members spanning three generations actively involved along with some 120 other dedicated staff.

I have been fully involved with our business for 26 years having completed my initial training elsewhere in the funeral sector. I have a particular interest in helping families bereaved by the loss of an infant and was approached by Forever Stars to write a guide to the process and practicalities of arranging such a funeral whilst dealing with the very bewildering emotional aspects. Should there be anything you do not understand please do not hesitate to contact me or any of our funeral homes for assistance and they will put you in touch with one of our dedicated team of female funeral directors specifically trained to deal with such deaths.

The chance to celebrate your baby

All babies regardless of the circumstances of birth or stage in pregnancy can have a funeral although as a parent it is your choice if you wish to have one. Although a funeral can be painful, it offers to the chance to celebrate your baby. 

 In Nottingham if your baby was delivered at one of the Trusts hospitals and you did not have the opportunity to take your baby home, the hospital may arrange and fund the funeral. The funeral service offered will be determined by the period of gestation, and the Chaplaincy at the appropriate hospital will advise you accordingly. If your baby was born before 24 weeks gestation the legal requirements are minimal and the midwife or obstetrician or doctor will issue you with a letter confirming the delivery date. The term stillborn is only, technically, applied to babies born without life after 24 weeks gestation, it is often kinder to use terminology such as “born asleep”. 

If your baby was delivered, stillborn, after 24 weeks gestation the hospital will issue you with a medical certificate which you will need to take to the Register office, in whose jurisdiction the hospital is located, to obtain a Certificate of Still Birth which will be necessary for the funeral be that burial or cremation. A still birth has to be registered within 42 days and must be registered by the baby’s mother if parents are unmarried or by mother, father or both if parents are married. Cultural needs may determine the type of funeral you select and the funeral director will advise and obtain additional statutory and non- statutory documents as required.

If your baby’s death is referred to H M Coroner you should not be alarmed the duty of H M Coroner is to investigate death but that does not suggest anything untoward rather that death was unexpected and the reason needs to be investigated.

Some points to consider when arranging a funeral...

The funeral service can take place in a place of worship, by the graveside or even at home. At A.W. Lymn we have a Phantom VII Rolls-Royce that has been adapted to hold a small coffin, this means that you can travel with your baby to the funeral. Options you may wish to consider for the service include a dove release, bubble machines and memorial books.

 At A. W. Lymn we offer our services at a reduced rate for anyone under the age of 18. View our children's brochure 

  • The first decision is if you would prefer your baby to be buried or cremated.

    A burial can take place in a traditional churchyard, a cemetery such as Nottingham Southern Cemetery at Wilford Hill, Nottingham Northern Cemetery at Bulwell, Nottingham Highwood Cemetery or at a natural burial site such as Tithe Green. 

  • Dependent on the gestation period your baby may be offered a shared grave with other babies, or a shared cremation.

    This can provide comfort that your baby is not alone. However, if you decide that you would like an individual grave then please talk to your funeral director to discuss other options as these vary cemetery to cemetery and in line with individual circumstances.  

  • Do have a look at the proposed grave and find out about restrictions on headstones and memorials.

    My nephew Ben is our Stonemason Manager and he or his team will be able to advise you on specific cemeteries and their rules.

  • Traditionally your baby will be swaddled in a Moses basket or, in the case of an older child, in our dedicated bedroom at Robin Hood House.

    Should you wish to wash and dress your baby we have bathing facilities and will advise you of the appropriateness of doing that yourself.

  • Incase you may not have any clothing of the appropriate size for your baby to be dressed in at this untimely moment.

    We have available a range of outfits that have been lovingly knitted free of charge for your benefit by the ladies of the Mothers Union at St Cyprian`s Church, Carlton and of the Ladies Christian Fellowship, Burton Joyce. Our staff will select an appropriate size and colour of outfit for your baby. 

    If you are not religious, then you can have a non-religious ceremony. You could ask a civil celebrant or even a family member or friend to lead the service. If you belong to a religious group, then you may wish to ask your own religious leader to take the ceremony.